Religion demands you earn your place; the Kingdom says you already have it. Discover why the "orphan spirit" is destroying your leadership and how to shift into true identity.
Matt Gonzales opens the Kingdom Conference with a foundational diagnosis: "If you don't know the culture of the Kingdom [Mission], you will inevitably create a religious culture."
This session tackles the silent killer of effective leadership: the "Orphan Spirit." It explains why so many high-capacity leaders feel exhausted, unappreciated, and constantly driven to prove their worth. Matt dismantles the performance trap ("Religion") and replaces it with the security of identity ("Sonship").
Matt identifies two operating systems for life and leadership. The Orphan works *for* approval. They are constantly striving, competing, and anxious about their place. "An orphan always needs to prove they belong."
The Son/Daughter works *from* approval. They know their seat at the table is secure. "A slave works for approval; a son works *from* approval." This shift changes everything—from how you handle conflict to how you view success.
Matt defines "Religion" not as a denomination, but as a mindset of earning. It loves rules more than relationship. "Rules without relationship lead to rebellion."
In contrast, Kingdom culture starts with relationship. It says, "You are loved, now go change the world." Religion says, "Change yourself, and maybe you'll be loved." Leaders operating in a religious mindset create toxic, high-pressure environments. Leaders operating in Kingdom culture create environments of safety and empowerment.
Why do we seek influence or supernatural power? Matt warns: "Power is not for a show; it's for service."
If you want power to prove you are special (Orphan mindset), you will abuse it. If you want power to serve the broken and demonstrate the nature of the King (Son mindset), you will be trusted with more. The supernatural is simply the logical result of Heaven invading Earth through a secure vessel.
"You are not defined by what you do; you are defined by who you are."
If you lose your job, your title, or your ministry tomorrow, do you lose your identity? If the answer is yes, you are "Lost in Religion." Matt challenges us to anchor our worth in our biological connection to the Father, not our organizational utility. When you know *whose* you are, *what* you do becomes impactful, not desperate.
You cannot lead others into freedom if you are still a slave to performance. The world is full of orphans acting like leaders—striving, taking, and manipulating.
The invitation is to stop trying to get to heaven and start bringing heaven here. "We are not called to just get people to heaven; we are called to bring heaven to earth." This starts by accepting your identity as a son or daughter who doesn't have to hustle for love.
Perfect for:
It is a mindset of abandonment and lack. An person with an orphan spirit feels they have no spiritual father, so they must fight for everything they get. They view others as competitors rather than family, and their primary motivation is survival and validation.
Check your motivation. Are you doing good things to get God to like you (Religion), or because you know He already likes you (Kingdom)? Religion feels like heavy obligation; Kingdom feels like empowered opportunity. Religion focuses on external behavior; Kingdom focuses on internal transformation.
Because rules are restrictive. Without the trust and love established in a relationship, rules feel like control. When people feel controlled without feeling cared for, their natural human response is to push back (rebel) to regain their autonomy. Connection must always precede correction.
Key Scripture Reference: Romans 8:15
"For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, 'Abba! Father!'"